Blog #8

Warning before you read this, this blog post might be closer to a stream of consciousness diary entry

Art is hard. I am facing a block. All i feel is an indescribable pain. Probably doesn't help that I am in the stage of tattoo healing where I want to crawl out of my skin because I am so itchy. I've recently been stuck in a loop of the past. I have been thinking about the beginning of 2021 and the amount of work that I made during that time. Fall of 2020 was truly one of the worst times, and yet after I got through it I was able to create some honestly cool objects. My art is me processing. At this point I can't say exactly what brought me here. My first pieces were silly. Some platform boot planters, enlarged chain, a self portrait, a sculpture of "my muse," I was just making to have fun and play. Somewhere I took a turn a serious one. Maybe its the annoying art historian in me, but I have this great feeling that art needs to SAY something. I am not making objects to appease an audience my fucked little brain truly believes that I make things to one day be an art history textbook. Where the fuck is the fun in that?

I have been single for a year and I crave death. I don't even know about making art about sex how is that relatable to my born again virgin ass. What I truly want to make art about is intimacy but we all know I fear emotional intimacy so physical intimacy is much easier...

Piece idea: literally just a pile of clay number of lbs equal to my weight, another pile of clay the weight of my ex two different colored clay bodies. Interested to know if the heavier pile would disrupt the lighter one in some way ? Thinking about the work of felix gonzales-torres. not the the sense of the depth of loss (death, HIV) but simply the feeling of a lost lover and i fucking HATE the word lover, but sometimes its the only one that works for the concept....

Piece idea: a set of plates with past text messages. the idea of facing the past. I think plates can be an excellent object that is "functional" but truly decorative. Reminds me of a vague memory of going to a Norman Rockwell museum to stare at the americana plates. Theres something interesting about creating an object and not allowing it to serve its purpose? Truly I crave a flat surface but I don't vibe with tiles they are annoying but maybe also an option. 

Currently working on some pots???? I was thinking about my cute little collared cups I made at UF and wanted to take another shot. I handbuilt the bottom part and added the base of the collar and realized I hated them. So then I sat my ass at the wheel and did my little thing where I don't know how to throw so "wrong" objects are made, added those on top. Treating those as I do and how emphasizing the curves. Collars are fun can't wait to make them and then lust up some metal bits.